“It Ends With Us”: Domestic Violence Wrapped in Pink Florals
What and who do we write for?
I remember the first time I found It Ends With Us — drawn to the cover, with its soft hues of pink. The synopsis on the author’s website hinted at a love-triangle story: a woman torn between the past and the present, with a gorgeous neurosurgeon and a lost love at the heart of it all. Granted, it may be a bit angsty, but really, who doesn’t love a little bit of angst in our romance story?
“Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most,” it said. The problem is there’s no hint at all that the story would go into depths of domestic violence.
I was completely blindsided. I found myself sinking into a story I was completely unprepared for and it hit me hard — so hard that I couldn’t sleep well for a week. I felt the shock in my bones, like a sudden chill that refuses to leave.
The omission of a trigger warning or even a hint at the subject matter is a significant oversight. I can’t help but think of others, especially survivors, who might have been similarly caught off guard.
How many others were pulled into this story, expecting a giddy romance, a lovely escape from reality, and finding trauma instead?
In August 2024, a movie based on this novel was released. I haven’t seen the movie yet (I’m not sure if I will), but I’m relieved to see the conversations that have sparked around its marketing. While this time, the movie triller clearly shows that the story is about domestic violence, the marketing still feels like a betrayal — something so painful wrapped up in a romanticized package of pink and florals, of cool fashion, of girls talk podcast, of a cute baking session.
But it’s heartening and encouraging, to see people standing up against the irresponsible marketing, and speaking out about the importance of representation and the careful handling of sensitive topics like domestic violence.
To those survivors who have shared their stories, who have spoken up about the responsibility in marketing such an important message, we hear you —your strength, your courage, your resilience.
We hear the true message of It Ends With Us — breaking the patterns of domestic violence.
We break the pattern
Or the pattern breaks us.
It’s about recognizing the cycle of abuse and finding the strength to end it, that love should never be a reason to stay in a harmful situation, and that breaking free is a step toward healing — not just for oneself but for future generations; for our younger siblings, for our children.
“It Ends With Us” taught me a lesson: as writers, we have a responsibility to be mindful of the impact our words can have. Our audiences, our readers, they are not merely numbers of sale records — they are humans. As such, we must honor them, consider their experiences, and tread carefully when we touch on the raw, tender parts of life.
Ultimately we must be fully aware of what and who do we write for?
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Recommended readings for those who want to understand more about abuse and violence through a survivor’s perspective:
- My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell: A powerful exploration of grooming and manipulation of a teenage girl by her English teacher. The novel explores the lasting effects of this abuse on the protagonist, Vanessa. I must warn you; personally, this is the toughest book I have read. Please be mentally prepared before you read it.
- Maid by Stephanie Land: A true story of the author herself, Stephanie Land’s struggles to escape poverty and domestic abuse. It also explores why many survivors choose to stay or even return to their abusers through showing the real-life challenges they faced; like the lack of support system, the difficulties of finding affordable housing, and unequal legal system.
- The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins: A psychological thriller that shows the insidious nature of psychological abuse and manipulation, especially gaslighting and social isolation.
